Life is Hard. Wear a Helmet.

Life is Hard. Wear a Helmet

Virginia State Constitution: Article 1; Section 13
That a well regulated militia, composed of the body of the people, trained to arms, is the proper, natural, and safe defense of a free state, therefore, the right of the people to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed; that standing armies, in time of peace, should be avoided as dangerous to liberty; and that in all cases the military should be under strict subordination to, and governed by, the civil power.

Alabama State Constitution: Article 1: Section 26
That every Citizen has a right to bear arms in defense of himself and the State.

Thursday, July 31, 2014

More from the BBC

Back to this Ebola thing again.

Ever since I heard about two aid workers catching the virus, there's been just one thing that's been worrying me.
How did these people, trained and educated in all the ways to avoid coming into contact with the virus, catch a dose and die? From what I've seen and read, foreign aid workers follow some of the strictest personal protection procedures out there.

One of the good things about Ebola (Boy howdy. I never thought I'd say that.) is that it's only transmitted by direct contact with bodily fluids. This is another one of those things about the virus that has significantly slowed it's spread, and allows worriers like me to sleep at night.
Even if that bad boy made the hop to a more developed country like ours, it would be a lot easier to control. In places like Liberia and Nigeria, they are still dealing with a lot of stigma and superstition when it comes to fighting the disease, not to mention a distinct lack of modern medical facilities. Here in the states, people show up at the emergency room for an upset tummy.

The #1 nightmare on my mind is if this thing mutates into an airborne version.

Yesterday, the BBC announced that Liberia had closed all it's schools, sent home all it's "non-essential" government workers and was using troops to enforce "quarantines".
When I hear this, my mind wanders back to those two foreign aid workers who somehow caught Ebola and died. Did it happen because of a new transmission route that no one was expecting?
Do they know something in Liberia that we don't know?

You want to see a shit storm? Imagine an airborne version of Ebola loose here in the states.

I'm not going to sleep for a fucking week.


Monday, July 28, 2014


I was completely brain dead yesterday morning, and complaining to myself about my inability to write anything.

I thought that the long drive would give me a chance to come up with something to kick the muse into gear, and I was right.

I listen to BBC radio (God bless SiriusXM) when I'm not in the mood for music, and their hot news topic for Sunday was...wait for it...


Rule #1 - Don't catch it.

That has got to be the most seriously badass virus out there. It basically melts you from the inside out. Your eyes start bleeding, along with your gums, your nose, your ears, etc.. But the really exciting part is when you literally start shitting your guts out. As the virus rapidly turns your insides into something like strawberry jam, you spend your last days vomiting and shitting blood until you crash out.

Apparently, there's an outbreak going on right now in Africa.

And it's a doozy. The worst one they've seen yet. More cases than ever before, and it's spread across four countries so far.
This is not something we tend to lose sleep over. (I'm not a racist!) Ebola has been popping up pretty regularly over there for some time now. It doesn't tend to get very far. Firstly, it's been popping up in some serious third-world shit-holes, for the most part people in those areas just don't tend to travel very far or very fast. Secondly, the deadliness of the disease works against itself. You don't get contagious until you start showing symptoms, and once you start showing symptoms, you don't feel much like traveling anywhere.

I had a sphincter-clenching moment yesterday while listening to this story. I had to pull over and pry the seat cushion out of my ass at a rest stop.

Apparently, the latest country to report a case of Ebola was Nigeria. A man who was traveling on a plane began vomiting and shitting blood. When the plane landed in Nigeria, they pulled him off and quarantined him. (Was that the sound of a barn door slamming shut?)
And a couple of volunteer aid workers have managed to catch it as well. These are the people who have had all the training, and taken all the precautions, right?

Will it "make the hop" this time?

We could start a pool on which country will be the first outside Africa to report a case of Ebola.

Welcome to the "Jet Age"

Hope you enjoy your Monday.


Sunday, July 27, 2014

Sunday morning sleep-in #96

I got nuthin.
Gotta be in Jacksonville tonight. Maybe I'll see something along the way that will kick the Muse's ass into gear.

Saturday, July 26, 2014

Saturday Morning Coffee #116

Old pictures, and I can't even remember where some of them came from.

Yes. I remember this last one. It's a still I pulled from a video a few years ago.

*sigh* Back in the good old days, when I used to go shooting all the time.



Thursday, July 24, 2014

Gun-Free Day

Going down to the Jefferson County courthouse this morning.

Their security is like a TSA wet dream down there, and I have to be there by 0730 so I can stand around for a half-hour for the privilege of being treated like a suspect just so I can get my vehicle registration straightened out.


That's gotta be photo-shopped, bro.

I will give you this little tidbit, though.
On airdrop missions out of Pope, the only way to get from the front of the cargo bay to the back, and vice-versa, was to walk on the thighs of all the seated troopers.

We used to make up stupid reasons to do it a couple extra times during the flight, just to be dicks.


Wednesday, July 23, 2014

Monday, July 21, 2014

Pickled Eggs PSA

The pickle recipe doesn't work on eggs.

Nope. No way.


Sunday, July 20, 2014

Sunday morning sleep-in #95

War Stories

Odie posted a picture for me that kicked something loose...

I had climbed up into the cockpit 
and got myself into the Navigator's seat, my favorite spot on these trips. The ignominy of being bitched at by a hungover navigator was worth a few minutes with a nice view out the front. To this day, I think the thing that bothers me the most about flying (aside from the groping) is not being able to see where I'm going.

I swiveled the seat and raised it for a good view, then plugged my Davey Clarks into the intercom system to listen in on tower comms. The pilot had left his Beretta on the Nav's table, so I unloaded it and began field stripping it for something to do.
The terrain below was jungle, broken occasionally by cane fields or rice paddies. It really was a pretty sight. The deep banking turn we made through that pass to drop down into that little picturesque valley for a landing took some of the pretty out of the picture. I had to scramble to keep all the pieces of the pilot's Beretta on the Nav table and not all over the floor of the cockpit.
A deep banking turn in a lumbering old C-141 Starlifter somehow makes picturesque mountains look more like gaping jaws of death waiting to rend your flesh in a fiery moment of hellish ecstasy. (OBTW, I started reading MHNemesis last night.)

Our highly-skilled and multi-talented pilot dropped the plane right on the end of the runway with hardly a bump, restoring some of our confidence in him; confidence that had slipped just a little bit when we all watched him dancing with an enormously fat woman on the pool deck wearing nothing but a Speedo and singing "This is Why I'm Hot" out loud. (Tell you what...I'll save that story for some other time.)

We took our time (and the whole runway) to roll out before swinging around onto the parallel taxiway and slowing to a stop.

Pilot - Wow...a ghost town. We did talk to someone in the tower, right?

Copilot - You were there...

Pilot - Put in ground freq...

Copilot - Let's just head for those buildings over there....Hey! What the fuck is that?

Pilot - Where?

SSgt B - Is that guy on a bicycle?

Copilot - It's a moped.

Pilot - A what? Where?

Copilot - Right there, sir. Pointing. He's on the taxiway and coming straight towards us.

Pilot - Hmmm...Where's my gun?

SSgt B - Um...right here, sir. Scrambling to put the pilot's Beretta back together again.

FE - Don't worry, sir. He's probably just got some nice watches he wants to sell us.

Pilot - Seriously. What the fuck? Have you got ground freq yet?

Copilot - Just a sec, sir. Fiddling knobs on his side console.

The little brown man on the moped then stops about 50 yards off the nose of the aircraft and puts on a vest with "FOLLOW ME" stenciled sloppily across the back in six inch letters. He looks back over his shoulder at us for a moment before putt-putting away down the taxiway...

Pilot - No. Fucking. Way.

FE - Yeehaw! I knew this was going to be a great stop...Hurry, sir! Don't lose that guy on the moped!

Copilot - giggling I hope the CVR got that.

FE - I mean it...we gotta talk to that guy.

SSgt B - You interested in a new Rolex?

FE - Listen to the voice of experience, son. Any place you have to chase a moped to your parking spot is going to have the best bars you've ever seen...and the moped kid knows where they all are.

Pilot - I'm on him...he's not getting away.

FE - Bars where you have to be dressed.....sir.

Copilot - Don't worry. I flushed the Speedo before we left Pattaya.

Pilot - You what?



Saturday, July 19, 2014

Saturday Morning Coffee #115

The Gaza Fiasco

I was listening to the BBC broadcaster yesterday reporting on the plight of the oppressed and downtrodden Palestinians as they fled their homes during the vicious ground assault by the Israeli army. The poor woman was obviously fighting back tears as she told of the crowds of women and children flooding into the refugee camps.


Today we read about missiles found hidden in a school run by....wait for it....

The United Nations...
(The UNRWA has called this a "flagrant violation" and promises to "investigate")

There's one sure-fire way the Palestinians can stop Israel from stomping on their shit on a monthly basis.

Gone all week, and I've come home to a Honeydew list a mile long.

Thursday, July 17, 2014


Wait for it...


Domino's pizza for dinner in the comfort of my air-conditioned hotel room

and I ate the chocolate lava cakes.

Both of them.


I'm sure Florida is a great place if you're lying on the beach or touring Disney world.

Not so great when you're working your ass off.

and they don't let you shoot the alligators.


Tuesday, July 15, 2014

Hold Music

Got to be on site by 0630.

She could give Norah Jones a run for her money.

Monday, July 14, 2014

Sunday, July 13, 2014

Sunday morning sleep-in #94

An open letter...

Dear Brigid,

I made the pickles.

I ate some for breakfast this morning.

Holy shit, they were awesome. I had a "private moment" right there at the kitchen sink.

I dedicated it to you.

MSgt B


P.S. - I haven't tried the eggs yet. They generally need to brine for about a week before they're any good.


Saturday, July 12, 2014

Saturday Morning Coffee #114

Name dropping.

Hey Old NFO. We still on for lunch tomorrow?

Been on the phone for two days and I think I pulled a muscle somewhere.

Thursday, for example:

0830-0900 - Conference call #1
0900-1200 - Conference call #2
1230-1330 - Conference call #3
1500-1800 - Conference call #2 (Cont.)

Lather, rinse, repeat for Friday.

I woke up this morning, and the first thing I did was check my Outlook calendar for conference calls.
I sat there in sleep-muddled confusion staring at a blank page for 30 seconds before I realized it was Saturday. (Although I would not have been overly shocked to see a conference call scheduled. It's happened before.)

Conference calls rot your brain. I have nothing to write about this morning.


Friday, July 11, 2014

Impulse Buy

420 rounds of .223 Federal 55 gr. on 10 round stripper clips... $164

Picked it up in Wally World on the way home from Outback.

Came in a cute little ammo can and everything.


Thursday, July 10, 2014

Gun Thief Gets 10 Years

Former New Orleans Mayor, Ray Nagin got sentenced to 120 months for corruption yesterday.

He has to turn himself in by September to serve his sentence in some "Country Club" prison called Oakdale.

Some current and former residents of Oakdale include, but are not limited to:

Edwin Edwards - Former Louisiana Governor
Don Siegelman - Former Alabama Governor
Andrew Fastow - Former CFO of Enron
Jim H Brown - Former Louisiana Insurance Commissioner
Oliver Thomas - Former New Orleans City Councilman

I hope he gets a pair of tits tattooed on his back.


Wednesday, July 9, 2014

Hump Day Rule 5 - Andriana Lima

Real or fake?    It's getting harder to tell nowadays.

Real or fake, whatever....that diamond encrusted bra sold for $2 million....

I wonder if that was before or after she wore it?