Life is Hard. Wear a Helmet.

Life is Hard. Wear a Helmet

Virginia State Constitution: Article 1; Section 13
That a well regulated militia, composed of the body of the people, trained to arms, is the proper, natural, and safe defense of a free state, therefore, the right of the people to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed; that standing armies, in time of peace, should be avoided as dangerous to liberty; and that in all cases the military should be under strict subordination to, and governed by, the civil power.

Alabama State Constitution: Article 1: Section 26
That every Citizen has a right to bear arms in defense of himself and the State.

Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Hump Day Rule 5 - Tara Mishra

From MSN:

"Tara Mishra labored for almost 15 years as an exotic dancer to save up $1 million. Her dream was to start her own club.
During a traffic stop last year in Nebraska, however, Mishra's friends and business partners were pulled over by police who confiscated her life's fortune, which was in the trunk of the car they were driving.
Last week, a federal judge ruled that Nebraska police must return the cash they took from Mishra and her friends Rajesh and Marina Dheri because the money cannot be traced to a drug operation..."
Article here...


$1,000,000 from dancing nekkid?

I'm in the wrong business.
Sure, sure, I may not be able to pull down the big bucks like Tara, but I bet if I shake this fat, hairy ass hard enough, I can pull in $50k or so.

What do you think?

Wisely, Tara has kept her face away from the cameras, so I can only provide my pervy friends with some random stripper pics; none of which is me...

Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Whistlin' Dixie

SrA B called from England.

He's arrived safe and sound.

At 0400 local.

Knowing what we know about the Democratic Party, namely that:

a) It is the political party that staunchly defended racial segregation 50 years ago
b) It is the party that now tirelessly pushes an agenda of social welfare programs, beyond what is necessary...

Wouldn't a black president be the perfect person to push this country into the "New Age" of segregation?

Speaking of the Democratic Party,
Don't forget the old adage, "There's no such thing as bad publicity."

My money's on Anthony Weiner as the next Mayor of New York.

A few others have been cashing in on Carlos Danger's fame as well...


Tactical Weiner

 (Thanks, Uncle)

Sunday, July 28, 2013

Sunday morning sleep-in #58

Cutting the Cord

My BlackCrackberry is a gummy lump.

I got checked into the hotel in Thornburg, and Miss B came over to pick me up for dinner.
I plugged the Blackberry into the truck to charge while I was away, and somewhere along the line, something got crossed up. By the time I got back from dinner, my Blackberry was a smoking hole.



Not sure how I'm going to make it through the day.




Saturday, July 27, 2013

Saturday Morning Coffee #71

Sweet Jesus.

Twelve solid oh-my-god-that-guy's-gonna-kill-me hours on the road yesterday.

I'm getting too old for this shit.

Now, I get to make the trip back to Sweet Home tomorrow.


Seriously. I laughed so hard I spotted...

Friday, July 26, 2013

On the road to Virginia.

I can't put off picking up the boat any longer.

Saturday Morning Coffee will be quick, and Sunday morning sleep-in will be non-existent.



Thursday, July 25, 2013

Bus Driver's Chicken*

This is your basic chicken casserole dish.
My favorite because it's the only one I've tried that makes boneless, skinless chicken breasts truly palatable.

Prep time - 30 minutes (if you take your time)   Bake time - 90 minutes

2  Cans Campbell's Cream of Mushroom Soup (condensed)
1  8oz. bar of Philadelphia Cream Cheese
1  packet of Hidden Valley Ranch Dressing mix (dry)
3  good-sized boneless & skinless chicken breasts
1  Casserole dish
1  Soup pot
Some Pam spray

Preheat oven to 325 F.

Spray some Pam in the casserole dish.

Put your two cans of Cream of Mushroom Soup in the soup pot. (No water) Use the same spoon you used to get all the condensed soup out of the cans to chop the cream cheese into the pot, then add the packet of dry Ranch Dressing mix.
Heat this over medium heat, stirring frequently.
(I add a healthy dash of coarse ground black pepper. I like the extra bite.)

While that's heating, rinse off your chicken breasts and cut them into chunks. (Big chunks, about 8-10 chunks per breast.) Don't forget to keep checking your soup mix and stirring it while you're doing this, so it doesn't scorch on the bottom of the pot.

Arrange the chicken chunks in a single layer on the bottom of the casserole dish.

By this time, your cream cheese has melted into the soup mix, so pull that mess off the stove and spread it over the top of the chicken chunks.

Do not cover the casserole dish; bake at 325 F for 90 minutes.

Serve over white rice or egg noodles.
(I like white rice...Mrs B likes egg noodles.  This is a Hatfield-McCoy-esque feud that has been going on in our house for over 20 years. White Rice is Better!)

* I have no idea why it's called "Bus Driver's" chicken. The lady who gave us the recipe over 20 years ago called it that...


Tuesday, July 23, 2013

Much Ado About Nothing

My favorite modern film version of the play, done in 1993, with a hodge-podge of the what would seem to be the most unlikely troupe to produce such a classic.

Not to mention, Emma Thompson is Hawt!

And now I discover that Joss Whedon has directed a modernized (with guns and shit) version released in 2012, and the cast includes none other than Nathan Fillion.

It's been released in Ireland. I need to get my hands on a copy.

Sunday, July 21, 2013

Sunday morning sleep-in #57

More Health News:

I was grocery shopping at WalMart yesterday and I couldn't find any Velveeta* "Pasteurized Prepared Cheese Product" (Made with real milk protein concentrate!)

I'm not shitting you. Go read that sentence again.

There I was, in a WalMart, in Alabama, and I couldn't find Velveeta...

WTF is the world coming to?

* Don't judge me, bitches.  It makes a great Queso dip.

More Alabama jokes:

Everybody's got 'em...

Link of the Day:

Thank you Christina.***

Thank you from the bottom of my pervy little heart...

* Yeah.  I had to look it up.
** Oops.  Fixed the link.

Inappropriate Humor in 3...2...

Saturday, July 20, 2013

Saturday Morning Coffee #70

Rule #1 - I carry a gun to protect me and mine.

The rest of you guys are on your own.
I'm sure you're nice people and all, but if you really think you need protecting...get your own damn gun.

...and everyone spouting "Saying Zimmerman shouldn't have gotten out of his car is like saying a woman was raped because she deserved it." is just as much a steaming, smelly pile of logical fallacy as "If you disagree with the president, it's because you're a racist!"

As a matter of fact, the two statements are so eerily similar it makes me wonder if people aren't just playing Tit-for-Tat.

What the hell am I doing?
I promised myself I wouldn't blog any more about sumdood who shot sumgai somewhere.

In Health News:

Having forgotten why I never eat fruit-flavored pop tarts, I recently switched from my usual Maple Brown Sugar pop tarts over to Strawberry.

Now I remember why I never eat fruity pop tarts.

The filling has a tendency to turn to military-grade napalm in the toaster. When that shit hits your tongue it's, like, "Oh my God! Please! Jesus! Make it stop!"
Which, when your mouth is full of pop tart, comes out like "Ah ma Gah! Pah Gah mah kah Shllplpl!!!" as fiery bits of pop tart come flying out of your mouth, leaving little strawberry-colored scorch marks all over the kitchen counter.

Frying bacon naked is easier than biting into a freshly toasted strawberry pop tart.

I'm getting out the skillet now.

Inappropriate Humor in 3...2...

Friday, July 19, 2013

A Title would have been nice...

I sat through the entire Sharknado movie last night. I had no idea I had the ability to absorb that much cheez in one sitting.


In other news:

Borepatch tightens his tin-foil hat.

That guy is wicked smaht.

I sometimes wish I could write an intelligent and thought-provoking article like that one.
Then again, I watched the entire Sharknado movie last night.
I will need 48-72 hours to recover.



ETA:  Man, I'm really out of it this morning. Sat down, started typing, and never titled my post. 
          I hate it when that happens.

Thursday, July 18, 2013


For Miss B

Georgia Mordor is always hard work.

I'm tired , and I wanna go home.

A dog's life.



Wednesday, July 17, 2013

Tuesday, July 16, 2013

Go Figure

Justice Department to Investigate George Zimmerman Case

"According to a statement, the Justice Department's Civil Rights Division, the FBI and the U.S. Attorney's office for the Middle District of Florida announced Sunday (July 14) that they have opened an investigation into the murder of the 17-year-old, who was unarmed when shot dead in February. Federal prosecutors will determine if they should bring forth criminal civil rights charges against Zimmerman"



Systematic use of violence to create a general climate of fear in a population and thereby to bring about a particular political objective. It has been used throughout history by political organizations of both the left and the right, by nationalist and ethnic groups, and by revolutionaries. Although usually thought of as a means of destabilizing or overthrowing existing political institutions, terror also has been employed by governments against their own people to suppress dissent;
~ Miriam Webster Concise Encyclopedia

If you dare to shoot a "special" person, even in a case of justified self-defense, you're going to end up in Federal PMITA prison, one way or another...

"Department of Justice" is rapidly becoming a euphemism.


P.S. - Am I the only motherfucker on the planet that hasn't gotten guns from the ATF?

I have no humor today.

Monday, July 15, 2013

Monday Blargh


Work work work work work

Look! Bewbies!

Lots to do in Georgia Mordor this week.
Blogging may be light.


Sunday, July 14, 2013

Sunday morning sleep-in #56

George Zimmerman.

Not Guilty.

Now...get off my lawn.

Anyone see any riots?

I haven't seen or heard of anything around here, but I live in "flyover" country.

We don't riot 'til the bacon runs out, bitches.
Then you better lock up your hogs and load up your guns.

Crap. Windows 8 can go die in a crotch fire.
Putting all my favorites list back together is a PITA.

I have my blogroll and such to work by, which only reminds me how long it's been since I did any blog maintenance stuff.
I have blogs on the roll that haven't posted in a year or more.
I've also discovered that there're blogs I read all the time that aren't on the roll.

This doesn't mean that I'm actually doing anything about it...just complaining.
Welcome to the Gunternet.

...and The Meme...Grows.

Inappropriate Humor in 3...2...

Saturday, July 13, 2013

Saturday Morning Coffee #69

Thank you to JayG and Old NFO for taking over the Gun Blog Black List and getting it running again.

It's an icon.

I've been trying my best to not watch any coverage of the Zimmerman trial.
In my opinion, it's the biggest sham we've seen this decade.
I got stuck at the garage yesterday waiting for my truck to finish up. The TV was set on CNN's coverage of the closing arguments made by the prosecution, augmented liberally by the CNN commentators and text line at the bottom that pulled and printed all the juiciest quotes.

MSgt B's Opinion #1:  If that guy had a jury made up of mainstream media talking heads, he'd already be nailed to a cross outside the city gates...and set on fire.

MSgt B's Opinion #2:  George Zimmerman is fucked. Even if he wins this time around, someone's going to find a way to drag him back into a courtroom. He's probably going to spend the next 5-7 years in and out of courts, and that's if he's found not guilty. Poor fucker.

* This rant does not in any way effect my original opinion that dumbass shouldn't have gotten out of his car.

** OBTW. Your gun sucks, and you're holding it wrong.

On the road for the next couple weeks. Mostly Georgia.


Inappropriate Humor in 3...2...